Snapchat: My Review

I'm sure by now everybody has downloaded the new app Snapchat! It can be quite entertaining at times! I've been using it for about a week now and this is my review!

Now Ya See It Now Ya Don't: The settings allow you to set the display time of your photo anywhere from 1-10 seconds. These subliminal messages appear so quickly you best be paying attention...it reminds me of that time I went to the movie Swordfish and Halle Barry had a topless scene. I turned my head for 2 seconds and missed it! When you miss something in a theater...it sucks! Can't PVR that shit!! I had to wait for it to come out on DVD (yeah it's an older flick)...either that or I pay an extra $12.50 to see the movie again! Halle Barry?! Hallelujah! But I was in college at the time and on a budget so unfortunately I had to wait...and plus I really wanted to see The Fast and The Furious! Snapchat can be a real tease sometimes...it can be like watching Sidney Crosby undress an entire team and score an amazing goal with no replays! Or you could open it up and be like..."This doesn't warrant a 10 second timer"...go back to your inbox while it counts down and just go on living your life. I mean I'm not gonna stare at you for 10 seconds while you lay in a hammock or while you bite into a nice juicy steak...3 seconds...that's all I need. My time is valuable...don't waste it with your own personal dog and pony show! Set your timers accordingly!

Canada's Worst Driver Hidden Cam: Okay...I'm guilty of this! Cruisin along and a great beat comes on the radio! Turn it up...snap chat it...do the bobble head and pretend you know the words! Makes for a great snapchat but we gotta be responsible folks and not do this while we're driving. Cuz if we all start doing this...we might as well just blind fold ourselves, buckle up and get ready for a bad ass game of bumper cars! And I'm not a big fan of wearing a helmet while driving...just cramps your style! You never know when you're gonna pull up beside a Hawaiin Tropic bus load of girls! So this is what I do now...I snapchat while I'm parked...fast forward the track to the perfect spot...usually just before the chorus! I move the camera in and out and side to side so it appears that I'm moving give the steering wheel a lil turn here and there...throw in the odd shoulder check and boom...you have some vintage special effects straight out of 1985 and a rockin' snapchat to fire off to your friends! That's some Westjet safety right there! 

The Screenshot: So I was poppin' these off like I was TMZ postin' up outside the property lines of a celebrity wedding! Then I'd get a snapchat back "Stop screenshotting me!"...I'm like WTF?!..look over my shoulder...under my bed...in the closet! It's like that moment when you realize the call is coming from inside the house! Nothin! How did they know this?! Were they just pullin' out the ol' detective trick in hopes of getting me to admit to my creepy ways?! Then I got screenshotted! Are you kidding me snapchat?! Did you just tell on me?! WOW! C'mon! Nobody likes a rat! You tattlin' son of a bitch! Just throwin' me under the creepy bus! Thanks a lot!

The Hangover Movie: I was thinkin' to myself the other day...yes I do do this sometimes! When you go out with your friends you should snapchat throughout the night and send them to each other. DO NOT OPEN THEM TILL NEXT DAY! I know it's hard...like who doesn't want to rip open those Christmas presents on Christmas Eve! When you and your friends get together for Caesar's (or if you're in the states...a Bloody Mary...BOOOOOO!) and a greasy brunch the next day...you can now piece together your night via snapchat! Just in case you ever wonder how you woke up missing a tooth and married to a stripper!

The Reality TV Wannabe: Chances are unless you're the Kardashians...we don't really want to keep up with you...not that much anyways! At least they edit their show and only air the good stuff! It's not necessary to send me a snapchat every 5 minutes of what you're doing..."Just got to work"..."Just poured a coffee"..."Just poured coffee #2!"..."Too much coffee, goin #2!"..."Now I'm at the gym!"..."Now I'm walkin my dog"..."Dog's goin #2!"..."Shit! Forgot my baggie!"..."Look at my dinner!"..."Look at my desert!"..."Exhausted...bed time!"! Yeah I'm exhausted too from you and your never ending snapchats about nothing! There's only one show I like about nothing and that's Seinfeld...but it's funny! You?! Not so much! So if you think Big Brother is watching you...he's not! He doesn't give a fuck...neither do I! 

If you like it, "like" it! If you love it, "share" it! BOOM!

What do you think of Snapchat?! Let me know in the comments below!!!