Every time I peruse my Instagram there's always a few photos that catch my eye and make me shake my head! I'm sure some of you can relate and may even be guilty of one or two of the following. I'm a recovering cup cake eating, selfie taking, suns out, guns out junkie myself!
Enjoy...
- THE COPYCAT: You post the same photo as your friend cuz you think you're way hotter than them but find out later you got crushed in the double tapped mini hearts department! You just cashed your reality cheque and it bounced! Boom!
- THE SELF HIGH-FIVER: You're the first to like your own insty pic. Just refrain from this..if you posted it...chances are we already know you like it. If you want to be obvious just go to your crush's profile page and double tap every other photo in their album.
LIKING YOUR OWN INSTAGRAM POST IS LIKE HIGH-FIVING YOURSELF! NOW HIGH-FIVE YOUR FACE! - THE HEY LOOK AT ME: Selfie overdose! We get it...you like what you see staring back at you. Chillin' in your bathroom, dancin' terribly to JT's newest digital album with your finger held down in camera mode trying to capture just the right shot! Be creative and stealthy if you want attention! Get a friend to take a pic. Preferably an action shot where you're doing something natural other than being douchey/needy!
- THE HEY I WORK OUT: If you wanna show off your abs or sell tickets to the gun show you can do it in a less narcissistic way! Get a bunch of your chubby friends together for a group photo. Girls have been doing this for years fellas! This way it looks like you actually have friends and you also know that the majority of your likes are directed towards those gay porn abs you've been workin so hard for!
DUDE, IF YOU'RE GONNA PHOTOSHOP YOUR ABS YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO SOMETHIN WITH THOSE EARS TOO! - THE DUCK FACE: Also known as the MySpace face. Who uses MySpace anymore?! Exactly! I wish my Mom was telling the truth when she said your face would stay like that forever! Quack, quack, SMACK! Don't do it!
I'M WAITING FOR THEM TO JUMP OFF AND START CHATTERING! - THE BITTER MRS.RIGHT: Your profile page has more quotes about your failed relationships than it does actual pictures! I don't even know what you look like!!! I know I don't wanna be your Mr.Right if you're constantly bombarding me with Drake lyrics?!!! Listen to some Pink and "get up and try, try, try!" This is what you look like to me...
- THE FOOD SABOTEUR: Stop posting photos of amazingly delicious treats like cupcakes and swedish berries and peanut butter m&m's and...mmm, sigh! Cuz then I want those things! At least when you post your #healthyeats I'll feel guilty for having thoughts of venturing off to Candy Mountain! Okay I might feel guilty for a bit or I may just go on living my life and head to 7-11 but then there's still a chance I'll open a can of tuna and eat it straight out of the can like a hungry human who just found a pantry in an abandoned house while trying to escape from even hungrier zombies! Damn I want a cupcake!
I BET YOU WANT A CUPCAKE NOW! #chubby #whocares
What are your biggest Instagram Pet Peeves?! Let me know in the comments below!
And if you liked this..."like" it, love it, "share" it! BOOM!
 |
| JUST CUZ HE DOES IT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT! |
No comments:
Post a Comment