My Flight to Disneyland: 24D

24D...the worst seat ever! So on my recent little adventure to find the happiest place on Earth I boarded a plane with one good arm and the other nestled into my chest comforted by the UltraSling 2! I got a little overzealous while taking a selfie and tore my bicep flexing in the mirror. I liked what was staring back at me…I blame Justin Timberlake for that! Anyways, being a big fella with long legs and bad knees (I’m literally falling apart like a slow cooked pork roast!) I pondered the idea of requesting an emergency exit row but was quickly shot down by the stewardess (I mean flight attendant…I mean stewardess…whatever) due to the fact that I only had “one able arm”…I thought my charming ways could convince her to turn a blind eye…apparently not! She must have been a lesbian…not that there’s anything wrong with that…I think they’re pretty cool…just not what I imagined my first experience with one to be like. I have a vivid imagination! I even tried to explain to her that I was a nude arm model heading down to LA for a big photo shoot and I was keeping it under wraps, protected from the elements. No dice! She said…”There’s a seat open in the back where you can rest your arm in the aisle and be out of the way” I figured Hey that doesn’t sound so bad. So I slipped away into obscurity towards the back of the plane. And there she was…in all her glory…24D!